Episode blurb Edit

Janitors Milk The New Theme Song "Enhanced" Consulting for the TSA Tim and Tom Solve Your Problems: Are We Your Friends? Types of Philes Two Timing A Juggalo's Response[1]

Quotes Edit

Tom: "You're independently-wealthy, a lottery winner.. don't think you've worked a day in your life!"

Tim: "No, I find working distasteful."


Tim: "The Illuminati: an invisible hand, guiding our nation."

Tom: "A literal invisible hand, if I'm not mistaken. They have the cloaks."


Tim: "You're not talking about putting babies into burlap sacks. That's frowned upon."

Tom: "Give 'em some breathing holes at the very least."

Tim: "Put 'em in the sack with some scissors and they'll learn some dexterity."


Tom: "The people listening also don't realise you gained 30lb for this role."

Tim: "That wasn't just for this role. They built a new Burger King down the street. I've been exclusively eating Burger King."


Tim: "The [TSA] have these body-scanning machines, which allow them to see your weiner-"

Tom: "And other things!"


Tim: "'Enhanced pat downs'? That's a groping."

Tom: "Maybe people should be trying to work this into their regular life. Maybe when you ask someone out, you should say, 'Just to let you know, we're going to be going on an enhanced date'."

Tim: "At the end of the night, I will be giving you an enhanced hug and kiss on the cheek."


Tim: "I was gonna ask you to be on 'Enhanced Girls at Spring Break'. You wanna be in my 'enhanced romance movie'?"


Tim: "I'm inviting this girl to be on our show as a special love interest. I think it'd spice it up!"


Tim: "This isn't really an actual complete guide to anything."

Tom: "What? Tim, don't say that. Refund requests are gonna come rolling in."