Episode blurb Edit
Baseball been berry, berry good to us.
Running Gags Edit
Tim: "I can see myself as the one guy you know that died from Swine Flu."
Tom: "Yeah, you're not a generally healthy person."
Tom [in Staten Island accent]: "You lookin' at my trashy girlfriend?"
Tim [in accent]: "She dressed slutty for me, not for you!"
Tom: "Keep the no editing in mind, Tim- when things go nowhere, there's nothing I can do about it."
Tim: "Can you also keep in mind that I just woke up from a nap?"
Tim: "I've gotten drunk to the point of being thrown out of Yankee Stadium."
Tom: "Wow, you must be very proud."
Tim: "On Easter Sunday!"
Tim: "I don't know much about being a man. I don't even know how to trim my beard..."
Tim: "Keep in mind I'm wearing a Yankees hat and a sweatshirt or a jersey. The inning changes and the Yankees run out to take the field.. I'm quite close to Bobby Abreu and I think "I'm never this close to the action. I've gotta get his attention ... I yell out, 'Abreu!' and he stops and turns around and looks at me. He was in the middle of a baseball game, so I didn't expect this... since when is policy that you'll stop and turn around when a fan addresses you in the middle of a game? They're either going to have something bad to say or, 'yeah, win the game!' ... This is where I panicked. Oh crap, I have to say something to him. All in the space of a few seconds."
Tom: "It was probably a full minute, you were just so drunk it felt like a few seconds."
Tim: "The only thing I can think of is that he looks a little bigger in person. He turns around and I have to think of something to say... so I yell, 'Abreu! You need to lose some fucking weight!' ... I'm a big fan! He was trying to process this. He could see I was wearing Yankees gear and probably thought, 'I'm not having a bad game...' ... anyway, he just kinda shrugged and jogged away. Then he went into a slump for like, 3 months."
Tom: "Wow, so you think you're accountable for his slump?"
Tim: "I'm sure he went home after every game and took his shirt off and thought 'that bearded asshole was right'."