Episode blurb Edit
LeBron James Passes on Our Offer / NBA Talk / Running in 102 Degree Heat / Sexy Librarians / Don't Drink Drano / Making Your Own Alcohol/Poison / Cooking Tips / Talkative Teenagers at Auto Parts Stores / New Segment! One Time / Time Travel
Running Gags Edit
- Batman is mentioned
- They talk about their empire/intern/employees/crew
- It's "so hot" in the room
- Tim hates teenagers
- Tom is obese
- Time travel is mentioned
- Tim hates the Baby Boomers
- Tim hates people talking about their dreams
Tom: "It's everybody's favourite curmudgeon, Tim."
Tim: "Tom, I'm really not in the mood tonight."
Tom: "I'm not in the mood for your shit!"
Tim: "You know why, Tom."
Tom: "No, I actually have no interest in your life."
Tom: "I'm taking off a t-shirt to reveal a chiseled torso."
Tim: "A glistening, chiseled torso."
Tom: "It's definitely glistening."
Tom: "Listen to the female [on the Nike+ app] & you'll start to fall in love with this woman. 'You're halfway there!' Okay. I can do this."
Tim: "I dunno, I need more brutal commentary, like, 'Why are you running so slow? are you not a man?'"
Tom: "Tuesday, I started drinking raw eggs, because that's what the Hulk did."
Tim: "That's what Rocky did."
Tom: "These guys don't give a shit about salmonella, they're too manly for it."
Tim: "If your body can't counteract salmonella, what are you, less of a man?"
Tom: "If I can't beat off salmonella, how am I going to parachute into a hostile situation and extract hostages?"
Tim: "I'm not one to normally hate on the artistic community, but-"
Tom: "Autistic, did you say?!"
Tim: "No, the artistic."
Tom: "Geez. Geez, Tim."
Tim: "I mean, I don't hate people with autism, either."
Tim: "You spent over $110 brewing your own beer. So. How many bottles did you get out of it?"
Tom: "[Sighs] I got 8."
Tim: "Tom. TOM. Tom. How many bottles did you get?"
Tom: "8! They weren't full, but there were 8 bottles with some beer in them!"
Tom: "No! Tim, those mechanics, they'll bend you over and fuck ya."
Tim: "You're so classy, Tom."
Tom: "I walked through the oil slick, and slipped."
Tim: "Did you fall down?"
Tom: "Yeah! All I could think was, 'What is this, Mario Kart?'"
Tom: "I would go back, to World War II-"
Tim: "I know where this is going-"
Tom: "And kill Hitler. And I'd do this? dressed as Batman."