Episode blurb Edit

In this episode we offer advice to females who have written to us with their problems. You know, because they trust us. We also talk about: - Little kids vs. Coffee tables - Disturbing Masters of the Universe beach towels - Interacting with overenthusiastic Starbucks employees - Luis vs. Louise - Tag-team serial killers - [...][1]

Running Gags Edit

Quotes Edit

Tim: "What do you want [for your birthday]? Which He-Man toys do you need to complete the set?"


Tom: "One of my biggest fears is something horrible happening when I have to pee."


Tim: "I think that's the true test of a hero - you have to pee and something happens, you either piss yourself or absorb it back in! ... like, Rudy Giuliani really needed to pee on 9/11, and he was like 'No, I've got things to do, I can't be stopping to urinate!' ... he was wearing dark pants, but it still shows. But you know what, a guy like that- you know our superhero idea where there are costumes stashed all around the city? I bet he's got pants in case he pisses himself."

Tom: "Suits hidden all around the city, just in case!"


Tim: "She used the word 'foist' [in her T&TSYP email] because one time on the podcast we had a conversation about the word 'foist'."

Tom: "Did we? I learn something new about the podcast every time we record."


Tim: "There are so many things about this world that you just don't know, Tom."


Tim: "We should do a different podcast, in a British accent - 'Witty Quips With Tim and Tom'. With baroque music playing in the background."


Tom: "All the girl emails are really long. All the guy ones are like-"

Tim: "'I wanna screw my girlfriend.'"

Tom: "'How do I do this' ... 'how do I make my wiener hard first?'"


Tim: "I was going back and listening to one of our old shows - you can listen to them MANY times, guys, they have tremendous replay value."

Tom: "Play em backwards, you think they're just funny the right way?"

Tim: "Yeah, hear all of the Satanic messages fully in tact."


Tom: "Unfortunately, this is a problem you can't fart your way out of."