Episode blurb[]
Feeling fat? Are your hands constantly greasy from all the fried foods you're always eating? Let Tim and Tom guide you through the healthiest diets out there today. Also covered: swinger cruises, making friends as an adult and the fact that your life has probably been a child's fever dream.[1]
Running Gags[]
Quotes[]
Tom: "I looked at this blender and it said Made in the USA, so I told you to stop looking at all the other blenders."
Tim: "Then you congratulated me for being a true patriot."
Tom: "I saluted you at the checkout, while I was humming God Bless America."
Tim: "I'm not doing it to lose weight Tom, cause I look freakin great."
Tom: "I was wondering why you were doing the podcast with no shirt."
Tim: "I stopped [the cleanse] after 9 days because I looked like a skeleton. And I was asked if I had a terminal disease."
Tim: "I don't remember life before like, 6 years ago."
Tom: "You were telling me the other day that you had this theory that the last 10 years of your life were a fever dream ... I yelled down the stairs, 'hey, you down there?' 'YEAH I'M DOWN HERE'. You'd just woken from a dream where the last 10 years didn't happen."
Tim: "It wasn't a dream! It was 45 minutes of my actual life."
Tim: "When I wake up from this dream, I'm going to do a lot of things differently."
Tom: "First things first, inventing the iPod."
Tim: "If I'm 10 years old, I can become an engineer. 10-year old Tim hasn't squandered all of his promise yet."
Tim: "Could be a coma."
Tom: "It's a pretty elaborate coma, I'm in here."
Tim: "Yeah, but like, honestly, I don't know."
Tom: "Are you going to argue that I'm not real?!"
Tom: "When we were in Target the other day, I noticed you were shopping in the 'husky' section of the boys department."