Episode blurb Edit

The guys come down with a bad case of Biebermania, for which the only cure is more Bieber. Also... April Fools Day! The Legality of Taking a Cop's Gun as a Joke Parents of Teenagers Old Man Walmart Vigilantism NJ Woman Striving to Become World's Fattest Tim and Tom Solve Your Masturbating Roommate Problems Tom's [...][1]

Running Gags Edit

Quotes Edit

Tim: "[Justin Bieber] was going to play at the mall, like a New Kids On The Block performance. Or y'know, Tiffany."


Tom: "He was born in 1994. Remember 1994, you old shit?"


Tim: "Was he born after Kurt Cobain died?"

Tom: "March 1st."

Tim: "Ok, so they overlap for a month. So he's not Kurt Cobain reincarnated."


Tom: "There's a lot of pressure for me to be 'on' ..."

Tim: "Your mom's sitting in the next room. She's a pretty hardcore stage mom ... you should see the way she talks to me before every show. [in Mom voice]- 'Now you don't talk when Tommy talks!' ... 'Cause when Tommy talks, that's what people tune in to hear!' ... I get it, Mrs R."

Tom: "She wants a lot for me, I'm her special boy."

Tim: "She wears a pink sweater with your face on it."

Tom: "Which I appreciate."

Tim: "With your name spelled out in glitter."


Tim: "Tom, you know how I feel about teenagers, right?"

Tom: "Yes."

Tim: "They're a bunch of entitled little pieces of garbage."


Tim: "They think the world owes them everything."

Tom: "Except the ones that listen to this show, of course."

Tim: "Nah, they're all dicks."


Tim: "Hey teenagers, suck an egg."

Tom: "Hey. Come on. Keep it clean."

Tim: "Sorry."


Tim: "This is what got my Bieber up."

Tom: "That's wildly inappropriate, Tim."

Tim: "That came out wrong, I think."


Tim: "If people start complaining on the internet, I give it 6 months before people stop using the internet."


Tim: "My advice to get out of any sticky situation - just kiss a girl on the mouth."


Tom: "Our friend was in college and had bunk beds and he was on the bottom bunk ... and he heard his roommate going at it like [makes panting noise] [makes rhythmic noise]"

Tim: "Tom, we get it!"

Tom: "Tim, it's a radio show!"

Tim: "You're an expert foley artist."

Tom: "So he just says, in a firm voice, 'masturbating'."


Tom: "Man, we just sound like fucking old men."

Tim: "I'm fine with that."


Tim: "Don't bother following me on twitter because I'm no longer on the show. Dicks."

Tom: "You've sat back down, are you back?"

Tim: "I have nowhere to go, I live here."

Tom: "This is it for you, your last episode."

Tim: "Yup, I'm packing my bindle and hitting the road."

Tom: "Hobo style."

Tim: "I'm riding the rails for a while. Who knows what will become of me ... I can no longer deal with your overbearing Mom, Tom. Have a nice life, everyone."

Tom:"If you want to catch Tim's new show, he'll be down at the railyards-"

Tim: "By a bonfire."