Episode blurb[]
TCGTE tells all about hobo secrets and more. Information that may one day very well save your life. Including: Tim is energized! Acting is tiring Conspiracy theories about the phone company Tom is drunk with Starbucks power The Hobo Code The Hobo Ethical Code Naked People at the Museum Baby Boomer of the Week We're [...][1]
Running Gags[]
Quotes[]
Tom: "Running the world, pulling the strings, that must wear on you."
Tim: "I've killed so many people. It's all clandestine."
Tom: "I got my Starbucks gold card, Tim. The Starbucks Corporation has recognised my loyalty."
Tim: "If I get any real power in this world, this'll be my main request - just leave me alone."
Tom: "A cross with a smiley face means the doctor here will treat hobos for free."
Tim: "Wow, free hobo doctor. He takes on cases pro hobo!"
Tim: "Well no, here's the thing, man. As good as they're trying to be to each other with this Hobo Code, that doesn't change the fact that another hobo in this world is competition for pies that are cooling out on windowsills, and cans of beans, sticks you can carry your belongings on with a handkerchief. You don't want young ones coming in."
Tim: "This was 1889? It seems to me if I were alive in 1889, the hobo life would have been for me."
Tim: "I could write a book about what you don't know about touching naked people in art museums!"
Tim: "Forgive me for saying this week after week but the baby boomers ruined everything ... I got into a fight with a baby boomer just yesterday. It was about politics but it quickly devolved into me screaming, 'Fucking baby boomers, you ruined everything, raided all of our resources.. the country's going down the tubes thanks to you!' ..and it was my Dad."
Tim: "Once a year we take the writing staff for this show, on a retreat in the woods, there's about 15 of us and we brainstorm ideas..."
Tom: "362 days a year I don't have to worry about bears eating me. 3 days of the year, I do."
Tom: "Hunting doesn't appeal to me ... but you go bear hunting & use tranquilizers, and when the bear is knocked out, you put a tie on him!"
Tom: "Like Yogi? Cause imagine how funny it would be if you saw a bear in the woods wearing a collar and a tie ... glue a fedora on its head... I tell you what, I'm gonna bring a really big tie, a collar and a fedora, just in case ... imagine if that bear killed someone, and they put a picture of that bear in the paper..."
Tim: "That'd be the worst way to die."